All About Zayd & Zuri

Looking Back

2011-10-15T23:54:00.001-07:00

The funny thing about motherhood is that you truly believe that you will remember every little monumental event that occurs in your child's life... until you don't. I still cannot believe that over a year has passed since I updated this blog, and I pray that whatever I did not captures in words, I sufficiently captured in pictures.

A year ago I was a breastfeeding, diaper changing, sleep deprived mother. Our days mainly consisted of at home floor play, trips to the library, Watkins Park, and taking Zayd two and from his twice weekly preschool. I recall it being the most beautiful fall that I'd ever remembered. It was as if the leaves bore witness to the sheer glory of God through the colors in their leaves. We relished fall, and spent much time outdoors in anticipation of winter.

We celebrated Eid in our home with Grammy 7 G-Dad as our guest. We all agreed that the most exciting part of their visit was the cool luxury van that they rented for their stay. We enjoyed all riding together in style to all of our destinations. We had a Chinese food themed Eid dinner, cooked by yours truly, which was somewhat a flop-- though everyone was super polite.

We road tripped to New York for Thanksgiving, a trip that I dreaded and contemplated backing out of several times, which ended up being quite some fun. Well, as much fun as it could be with a non-sleeping toddler, but we managed and made some wonderful memories.

As per tradition, we spent a little over a month in Cali with your gracious grandparents, shortly before the new year. Unlike most years, this time we were accompanied by your father, happy to use his new work from home status, to check out the Bay Area. We eat a little bit of everything, road-tripped to LA to see your aunt, and discovered/rediscovered many Bay Area jewels. It was on this trip that you father and I made a firm resolve to move back to the Bay Area as soon as possible. We found ourselves much more connected, extremely happier, and much more at peace in the area. We felt the Muslim community, the diverse culture, and the scenic beauty made for a good place to call home. It was a scary decision, however it seemed pretty inevitable. The DC Metro never felt like home to either one of us, and it was becoming increasingly hard for me to "find my happy place" in the area.

Watching the friendship develop between you two has had to be one of the most prized experience of my life. Hearing you all joke and laugh in your bedroom, past your bedtime, watching the never ending excitement as you two visited the animals at Watkin's Park, oatmeal every single morning while listening to nasheeds. I am eternally grateful to have spent that time with you... even though you all literally drove me crazy about 75% of the time.

Plane, Trains & Automobiles -- Summer 2010

2010-08-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

Z-Team,

This is our first day home after a month of being on the road. Thirty days, two states, two sets of grandparents, and more memories than I can ever count. Allah SWT is truly merciful. Our trip was amazing. I'm supposed to be unpacking, so I'm going to just log a few of my favorite memories in bullet form. Insha'Allah, I'll go into more detail at a later date.

Cali:

- Your grandmother's cooking (all time favorite for all of us)

- Riding the steam train with Uncle Ismael

- Jummah at Lighthouse

- Going to the beach with Grammy Jeddah after Jummah

- Riding the cable cars & spending the day in San Francisco with the whole family

- Zuri's 1st birthday at Fairyland

- Playing in the backyard

- The weather

- Catching up with The Bay Area community

- Watching you two play with your grandparents

- Walking the lake and farmer's markets

- Watching you two play with my brothers

- Spending time with The Thomas Family

Texas:

- Spending time with your grandparents

- Going out with your father while your grandparents watched you two

- The circus

- Backyard water play

-Swank date nights with your father

I know I am forgetting so many things that made the trip special. These are just a few of the things that really stuck out to me. Overall, I just thank Allah SWT for his mercy by bestowing such loving parents on your father and I. I truly pray for many more summers like this.

365 Days of Zuri

2010-07-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

365 days can be converted to one of these units:

* 31,536,000 seconds
* 525,600 minutes
* 8760 hours
* 52 weeks (rounded down)

I remember clearly, this time last year, being angry, hot, past due, and feeling mild contractions. Since we all figured you'd come around late June, early July at the latest, I was past tired and annoyed with the waiting game. The thought of going through labor again scared the living dayligts out of me. I was told, as most people are, that the second time around would be quicker and more intense. The idea of pain more intense than what I felt with Zayd down right terrified me. I think, well at least in part, you stayed inside a little longer to help me mentally prepare for the task at hand. I remember going to jummah the day before your birth and finally feeling ready to face the unknown. i tearfully pleaded with Allah to "get this baby out of me" so that I could begin the journey of geting to know you.
My labor intensified by the morning. I remember cleaning the bathroom at around 11am and talking to your auntie. I told her that I was in labor, but that I wasn't going to "tell anyone", because again, I was past due and onry as they come. After scrubbing the bathrom to my satisfaction one last time, your father, your grandmother, your brother and I proceeded to the park to take a slow and contraction filed walk aroud the lake. I will say, for July 11, it was mercifully cool that day. I remember stopping ever so often to do my nice pregnant rock and sway on your father's shoulders. We actualy had a wonderful heart to heart in between contractions on a bench by the lake, while your grandmother played with your brother at the park.
Next, we headed to Panera, because a girls got to eat and all. By this time my contractions were super intense, and I was once again annoyed that everyone else was laughing and enjoying themselves at the table, while I felt like my insides were splitting open. I managed to eat my food anyway, even though my stomach felt like a tight ball.
Next, upon my insistance, we headed to Walmart for something random like paper towels, that I felt I just had to have before I had my baby. Being the prepared people that your father and I are, we also picked up a birthing ball and a few things for my hospital stay. What I remember most about Walmart is your father and I obsessing over finding a video long enough to keep Zayd's attention while we were gone. As much as I knew you were coming, my brain was still very fixated on insuring that your brother was comfortable while I was gone. I didn't want to leave him. I remember that vividly.
My contractions were pretty intense in Walmart-- gosh this sounds so dang on suburban-- a lot of nice onlookers stopped to offer their support. I had another big one or two in the parking lot, which dang near scared this poor man to death. Mom suggested that we head straight to the hospital once we dropped she and Zayd off, but Khalid and I both felt it was too soon.
At home I some how found a way to wobble my huge butt up three flights of steps to get into my bathtub. To say that sitting in that warm water felt good would be the understatement of the year. Somewhere around this time, the thought that had been firmly rooted in the back of my mind began to fel like the best decision. I wanted to go to the hospital about as much as one wants to get a limb cut off. My doctor was on vacation, we never actually did the hospital tour, I didn't want to leave my mom and Zayd, and I felt so very comfortable and safe in my home.
Your father was dashing around like a mad man packing his hospital bag. The fact that he was doing this while I was in active labor kinda pissed me off a lot, and is something that I still hold over his head. Mom kept bringing my iced tea and other good things to eat and drink. She tried very hard to get me dresed to go to the hospital. At this point I remember sobbing and telling her that I didn't want to go. She tried to have this talk about how I had to and it would be okay, but I found her much more comforting thatn last-minute-hospital-bag-packer, and the thought of leaving her was just not an option.
Mom managed to wrangle me into some maternity clothes and Khalid went to load the car. By this point I was down right sobbing about how I didn't want to go. I made it down one flight of steps, my water broke,and the pain became unbearable. I remember letting out a loud howl, hearing a huge splash on the floor, and being brought down to my knees with the intensity of the pain. Mom was still desperately trying to usher me down the steps so that I could get into the car to go to the hospital. I knew, clear as day, that me getting into a car at this point was not an option. Mom kept insisting, so I did what any reasonable person would do on all fours climping down their staircase-- I began to push. You mother is a champion pusher, masha'Allah, I've been doing Kegels since way back, and pushing to me is the one satisfying and redeeming thing about labor. I love to push, and as I crawled down the steps on my hands and knees, that's just what I did. I will never forget your grandmother telling me to stop pushing. Always the willful child, that just made me go at it with more intensity.
By the bottom of the stairwell, I substantially certain that everyone was on board with the fact that I was going to have you sooner than I'd be able to get to any hospital. Your father matter-o-factly said, "Yeah, she's crowning". At ths point my discomfort level was about 900%, so I begged for a pillow to put under my back so that I could push you out on the floor with some dignity and all.
So I lay there on the floor, with your grandmother acting as midwife, and your father acting as birth coach, while passing instructions to yor grandmother via 911. Poor Zayd was so frightened by all the screaming that he holed himself up in the guestroom and looked at us al like we were insane. I remember him calling out for me, and me trying to reassure him that I was okay. A few screams and three good pushes later, you came into this world riding a sea of amniotic fluid. Zayd ran over and exclaimed, "Ohh, a baby!". You waved your left arm in the air as to catch your bearings and let out the sweetest little baby cry. My heart melted and I felt that new baby love that is primal and intense.
The super nice EMT guys came and took us to the hospital. I spent most of the night just holding you and looking at you; too high on adrenaline to even sleep. You had the fatest little red cheeks and these little eyes that just seemed wise beyond their years.

Always the rebel, we fought like crazy to get released early, and you were home, in my arms by that next evening.

That's your story Baby Girl. I pray that your life is as unique and as exciting as your entry into this world.

Zuri at 11 Months

2010-06-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

I can already see you at 16 chastising me for not writing more post about your early development. Admittedly, going from one to two in less than two years was a bit of a doozy... the understatement of the year, but we made it. Alhamdullilah.

So, what can I tell you about your newly 11 month old self. First off, let me tell you, once again, that you were the best little surprise baby I could ever not ask for. I wanted another child so close to Zayd as I wanted a hole in my head, but truly Allah is the best of planners. You came with your sweet little angelic face and captured the heart of the entire family. Strangely I vaguely remember you not being here, because your arrival seemed like a rewind of parenting Zayd.

Here are some fun little antidotes about you:

- You cut your two bottom teeth this week.

- You are extremely verbal. Your favorite noise is "Dinosaur Scream", as we've lovingly/ not-so-lovingly named it, a shrill high-pitched battle cry . Dinosaur Scream manifest itself when someone takes an object from you, when someone won't pick you up fast enough, when someone takes a foreign object out your mouth, when Zayd pisses you off, when stranger get to close,when you are foprced to get into the carseat, and occasionally during undesired diaper changes. Dinosaur Scream is special...

- Your next favorite thing to say is "Yeah Yeah". This is used as an answer to any question that sounds remotely inter sting to you, and also is sometimes just pronounced thoughtfully while playing with toys. You also do a nice "Buhh Buhh" and a " Dahh Dahh". Did I mention your "Eii Eii".

- You have no interest in any developmentally appropriate toys if Zayd is anywhere around. You are perfectly content snatching his toys and coveting on all things power cord.

- Your most recent trick is to demand to walk alone. You'll pull your hand away from us and walk as quickly as you can in the direction of your choosing. Lucky for us you're not that fast yet, but I know that is coming sooner than later.

- You like to eat rice, beans, peas, spinach, broccoli, a little meat from time to time, and any soft fruit. You seem to still love pears.

- You love music, and I am so happy to FINALLY have a dance partner. You love to dance round the house with me, bouncing and shaking your little self on my hip.

- You wear a size 3 diapers and can techinally still wear 9 month clothes, but I put you in 12 months because you are little but kind of long.

- You are still as bald as the day is long. Everyone tells me to be patient and enjoy your wash and wear style, but I do secretly pray by two that you can have a ponytail or something -- I mean just something.

- Your eylashes are ridiculously long. The curl up and touch your eyelids.

- I can always distract you by saying , " Oh, where is Zayd"...

- You get extra excited about books with babies faces in them. I feel kind of bad about that discovery, because you've mostly just been a tag-a-long reader to anything your brother picks put. Now I'll be sure to check you out a few more books from the library.

- You are still a boob monster, bottle boycotter.

- You stink right now and you are crying to be held. So yeah. That's you in a nutshell. Now back to you.

Long Time

2010-05-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

Long time no we.

Zuri's love for all things metal finally short-circuited my computer cord. I cant help but laugh at the rust brought on by baby drool. Zuri is running around making folks nervous on the playgrounds. She climbed two flights of steps last week and began walking around on the top floor like she'd won the Olympics. Zuri is my baby girl, my heart.

Zayd is so full of energy. I was recalling how much he used to bounce around inside me when I was pregnant with him. I remember he kicked soo hard on May 27, when we caught our flight to Paris. Zayd is my little hype man.

I pray Allah(SWT) today and always that I cherish my role as mother, and continue to strive towards being better at it. My main goal for the remainder of the spring & summer is learning and preparing for Zayd and Zuri's fall education. I have a LOT to learn, but alhamdullilah, I have some amazing role models and an amazing support network, masha'Allah. So that's about it in a nutshell.

Mother's Day 2010

Zayd close to Three

2010-04-19T19:00:00.001-07:00

You love to look at me and tell me that you're "going to school," and I "can't come". Admittedly I was slightly offended the first three or four times you told me, but now I support and encourage your decision. Assert you independence little peanut headed boy. I'll step back a notch or two, but you're not getting rid of me and Baby that easy.

Baby seems to be a mixture between a pet and a playmate to you. It's hard to really play with someone who just wants to eat your stuff and wreck all of your Lego buildings. At the same time, Baby is always around and pretty much down for whatever. As such, you often times just make due. You are quick to put Baby on time out for the slightest of infractions. She seems not to mind your passion for discipline -- thus far at least. She thinks your are the bee's knees. I pray that she always foster a high opinion of her big brother.

You all laugh at each other while eating breakfast. If I put the music on and time it just right, I can actually take a shower while you two laugh, eat, and listen to music -- joy. I'm so happy that you have each other. I am so thankful that Baby has you as a big brother. You are very serious about your Do-not-touch-my-baby-sister threat... I really think if you focused on the knee cap, you might actually be somewhat effective. Man, you are such a lover, not a fighter.

On love. Zayd, you fall in love about three times a week. It always starts with you noticing that special someone between the age of 3 and 50; you making funny facial expressions and babbling; you going in front of said love interest and speaking inchoherently while twisting your body back and forth; blank stare from you heart's desire; me telling you to put your tongue back in you mouth... You remind me so much of myself that it both pains me and cracks me up. I told your father that single sex education will likely be a must in your case. You like pretty shiny things my love. Remember that your mother called it first.

Today you fell in love with a young Ethiopian, and a blond girl in a stroller sucking on a pacifier. I think the stroller chick was kind of feeling you too, but I'm not encouraging such behavior. My beautiful first born, all growed up..

Zuri at 9 months

2010-04-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

Zuri Mamma is what I call you. You are the sweetest little toothless thing I've ever seen. You walk like you're on stilts-- your knees don't bend, and you are so ecstatic at your new found freedom that you literally fall over with pure joy and excitement. Zuri Mama. You are so shy around new people. It's funny getting to intimately know a shy person. In the home with us you are full of jokes and plenty of lip if anyone takes anything you feel rightfully belongs to you. Outside of the house, you are all about head hiding and arm clinging. You are my adorable little fuzzy headed koala bear.

Zuri Mama, I adore you. I'm so used to you sleeping in the crook of my arm that I often find myself positioned just such in my sleep. Zuri Zuu, you are still a late night milk monster. I wake up feeling like I ran a half-marathon each morning. Sometimes I wake Khalid just so he can listen to your greedy night gulping. We both know that technically big butted 9 month old babies don't have to nurse 50-11 times a night, but that doesn't seem to phase you. You are bedroom hater #1 extrodinaire-- you sleep RIGHT in the middle of the bed.

Zuri Mama, what type of woman will you be? I have mu hopes, dreams, and aspirations for you, but you have your own path to walk upon. I'll keep my thoughts between Allah and I..okay, at least I'll try. Zuri my love. My favorite surprise. My heaven sent friend. My daughter. My baby girl. The best of me, I pray. The best of me.

Until We Meet Again

2010-03-18T04:21:00.000-07:00

At my dearly beloved Deep Southern, old-school, back country, boardig school, we used to sing, "May His Peace be with you, till we meet again". I still love that song to death! Anyway, it abut that time to round up, revamp, reflect, and rebuild. As such, I will be taking a short, insha'Allah, hiatus from my blogging. However, like most bloggers, the urge o "share" is so strong that I seriously hope this break light the fire under my arse to really do what I want. So please remember my for my little band of hooligans in prayer, and I'll do the same for you.

May His Peace be with you.

Slow & Steady

2010-03-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

Z-Team,
One can say your father and I are "slow and steady", or one can say that we two just are slow. We are FINALLY putting the final touches on our epic task of....... wait for it.... wait for it..... switching rooms for you two. Our 'Zayd's Big Boy Room' has been a pestering project since -- say, Zuri was born.

Twelve list and fifteen Ikea trips later, I think we are at the finish line ----- insha'Allah. Mind the accent wall that I am so set on doing--- which never seems to get done... ever. So one bookshelf, one dresser, one toddler bed, one new duvet cover, one rug, curtains, hangers, organization mesh net thingies, wall decor... yeah, as you see it's one thing after another.

Your parents are on the cusp-- right there on the edge. Let's just all collectively pray to God that ths project gets done before Zayd refuses to switch rooms. If that happens, Zuri is going to have the flyest transportation themed room on the block.... and Zayd, yeah, well the nursery technically is still his room.

Okay, I have to go upstairs and micromanage your father. He totally loves it when I do that.

Zuri's First Step

2010-03-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

Baby girl. You let go of an overturned basket in the living room, got comfortable with a little hang time, then carefully took your FIRST step. I saw it! I saw it all! What a Merciful God is He. I get giddy just thinking about it. I don't know of anything as exciting as watching the evolution of the human brain. Days like this I know that I am EXACTLY where I'm supposed to be. Gosh, if I can only remember that on the bad days.

Thank you Allah for these beautiful children. Thank you for allowing me to watch so many aspects of their development. Thank you for a beautiful daughter who took her first step today. Thank you for her hilarious big brother.

God Is.

** I totally made your big event my FB status.***

What is vs. What Ought to Be

2010-03-09T00:34:00.000-08:00

I read a case in law school, where the judge made a good distinction about "what is", versus "what ought to be". I don't know, but the sheer truth of that statement really hit home with me. Hypothetically, one would think if one got up at 3Am to have some "personal time" in the bathroom, one would be alone. I mean hypothetically and all. However, what "is", isn't always what "ought" to be. So when Zayd decided to curl up in my arms and join me on this hypothetically 3Am bathroom trip, I was kind of cool. I mean not really, but too sleepy to care. Now when Zuri woke up screaming and trying to get to the new "Party on The Toilet", things got a little strange. Parenthood is some hilariously unpredictable stuff. That is both, "what is", and what "ought to be".

As salaam alaikum.

I love days like this.

2010-03-08T19:24:00.001-08:00

Zayd & Zuri,
I enjoyed spending the day with you two -- for the most. Playgroup was quite some fun. Zuri stole the show by literally running across the floor using a push toy. People get nervous to see a child so little so mobile. You are something else Little Girl. Zayd enjoyed playing with so many different personalities. I love the most when he finds another little aggressive bossy kid to butt heads with -- the dialogue is hilarious.

I listened to music and cooked up a really good meal, masha'Allah. I was so proud of it that I made it my status update on FB.

Grilled Green Curry Tilapia, soy ginger broccoli with assorted peppers, Kaila rice, & a shredded ginger, red onion, carrot salad. What did you cook him/her tonight? Seriously curious.

Okay: Zuri in Ergo. Zayd sleeping. Khalid finishing kitchen. Me about to crash while can.

God is Greater. God is Greater.

Whirlwind

2010-03-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

A whirlwind of good activities is always a good thing. Alhamdullilah. This weekend was one of those whirlwind times. An aqeeqah and wedding in different parts of Virginia -- hours away from each other different parts-- made this a mileage intensive, but wonderfully fun weekend.

I got to meet sweet little Baby Abiade. He is little, adorable, and loud. Zayd got to play with his good, good, buddy, "Adeew". Khalid and I got to spend some short, but memorable time with one of our happiest and chillest coupes friends ever. Alhamdullilah. There is nothing more comforting than being in a home filled with Sakinah --- our families were collectivelly chill-laxing seriously hard. Did I mention that Auntie Kalia made the BEST sweets, yet again, for the baby's aqeeqah??

I spoke at the lovely walimah of my dear friend Miriam. We went to law school together, and she is as kind and loving as they come, masha'Allah. Okay, your mother is so tired that she can no longer see straight. The good thing is, the weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow, insha'Alah. We are going to be out as LONG as possible!! Z-Team!! Bring it on Monday, insha'Allah.

Good Morning Loves

2010-03-03T04:41:00.000-08:00

As salaam alaikum Z-Team,

It's 7:41AM, and for all intensive purposes, this is the time that can make or break our day. Your father just left, frantically, after trying to do a million things. I think that man gets about 4.5 hours of sleep a night. (I have to help enforce a bedtime routine with him...wow, I sound like a mom.) Poor thing, he worked late, only to come home to find me sprawled across the bed with Zuri sleeping on my back in the Ergo Baby. I know I gave him the greetings, before pleading for him to "take her" off my back. On a brighter note, he loved the dinner that I made especially for him... I didn't see him eat it, but he told me such.

Wow, that sounds extremely pessimistic and self defeating, but I've found it to be true, more times than not. Without proper planning, preparation, and set goals, life becomes a little more "challenging" than normal -- and surely Allah knows best.

Alhamdullilah, I've gotten out morning routine much better, but the afternoons still turn into a little bit of a lull or pandemonium. Hence the reason why I am calling my babysitter reference today -- high five to myself!!

Okay, so this is Week 2 of our organizational change. Alhamdullilah, things have been going so far, so good. I'm still not giving the bedroom enough time in the evenings, but FORGIVENESS is my theme of the week -- yeah, this includes forgiving myself.

So, I've laid out your fathers clothes every day but once -- he beat me to it. I've made his lunch everyday but I think once -- yeah, he did it for me again. I've made really GOOD dinners, masha'Allah. I am such an emotional cook. I guess that saying, "Happy Wife, Happy Life", holds a lot of truth.

You guys seem to be thriving off of having a little more predictability. Okay, that's an abject lie. You all seem to be happy just walking around tearing up stuff, but I seem to be happier, and you all seem to be no less happier, so I see that as a win/win.

Wednesday is supposed to be our inside day, however, I'm not sure if I even want an inside day. We've had soooo maaaannny forced inside days with the snow, that the idea of getting out is intoxicatingly fun to me. Zayd loves it. Zuri, you might just be the sweetest anti-social person I've ever met..and I love you, just as you are.

The Family Calender was a lovely addition. Insha'Allah, I can find more working pens -- ohh, my life -- and really pimp-it-out with different colors and stuff. I freaking love organization and predictability.

I'm going to shame myself to stick EXACTLY to our house work schedule, insha'Allah. It's not too hard, and it really makes life easier. So yeah-- shame..

So, right NOW I should be:
1. Thinking about dinner (see, I'm late, that was a last nights task)
2. Laying out clothes for today (yup, another last nights task)
3. Getting dressed to socks (umm..nope)
4. Checking To-Do List that was written yesterday for today.. (dead silence)

Okay, so maybe... yeah, well still it's going better. Not perfect, but better. Gosh, I really need to stop laughing at myself so much. Man, but your mother is funny, masha'Allah.

Ya Rahmaan, Ya Rahim, let me surrender to being be a mere vessel or Your will -- today, and always. Ameen.

Serenity

2010-02-28T18:31:00.000-08:00

Z- Team,
You two are sleeping. Daddy is cleaning the kitchen, with Zuri plastered to his back in the Ergo Baby. There is peace in the home. I'm playing a Clean Up Jam that I created on my Mac. It feels sooo good to listen to non - baby music. Actually, that's not all true -- we have an International Lullaby cd from the library that is beautiful. Aghh, James Blunt -- Beautiful is playing.

"My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel, of that I'm sure"

This moment is so good that I think I'll stop blogging and just fully enjoy it. Remember children, God is Good All the time. God is. God is. God is.

"You're Beautiful!!"

Confessions of a Blog Jacker

2010-02-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

Zayd & Zuri,
Mommy jacked your blog. She's sorry, but she has a lot she needs to say---- don't blame her. She had a safe home waiting for her "other" thoughts all the while. No real such thing as other thoughts -- but for organizational sake.... fine, and for the three people who might only want to see pictures. all rest-- all 1.

5 followers...come on, you have to laugh at the irony... All others, please visit me here:

www.conceivabledreams.blogspot.com

Sakinah Circle, cont.

2010-02-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

Zuri,
You are sleeping on the back of your father. Typical Mommy style, I took a picture, which I will, insha'Allah, load later. I slept on the back of my father, I don't remember, but this I know. Little girls should sleep on the backs of their fathers-- what a safe place to be.

Zuri, you are a child, and your home and your family should always be your safe place. I pray Allah that these things are true for you your whole life. I am trying, but there is no better effort than prayer and teaching you and your brother knowledge of The Creator. I am but a vessel for Him. The human body is but a vessel for the Spirit- a mother for her child.

I love my father. I love my father so much that I wonder if I am strange. He has been a constant friend, companion, supporter, safe place to go. We've had some of the most amazing experiences of our live's, together.

I love my husband. A husband is not a father. I soo learned that the hard way. A husband is, for all intensive purposes, a father in training. Guess who does the training -- ah haa, the wife. It's difficult, yet not impossible, to train a man to be a father, if he has yet to be a husband. There is wisdom in the saying of the elders.

I love Him. He who created mankind. I love Him the most. Or so I purport. I love Him the most, yet I mention Him last. My paradigm has to shift:

God
Husband
Father

Lol. OUR PARADIGM has to SHIFT. Love God! Love God! Love God! Then you'll really learn to love your husband -- then through the mercy of your Father, you will really learn to LOVE Him. Ohh, it's a circle-- not a Pyramid.

Death to the Ego!

2010-02-26T10:21:00.001-08:00

Am I the only one who lives in the realm of backwards knowledge? Its like i insight fully figure out something, Alhamdullilah, then this same "original" thought is proofed by the works of another. Which is then ultimately proofed by the Quran.... Backwards Knowledge. I can't help but-after doing this oh so many times, conclude that this is, by far, this thing we call "life" -- this is a human condition. Not Jew, Christian, Muslim, Life Submitter -- this is The Human Condition. We all need You.. How we got so confused along the way, I do not know. I have so much i want to say abut Your Grandeur and Your Glory. (You know you are sprung when you can't help but think about something... all the time... and then some). I mean what am I supposed to do. The hiding it thing's not really my style -- ha, a, yes, You know.

Case in Point: Hi, I'm Azizah Ahmad, and I have a close, personal, and loving relationship with God. Oh, by the way, not only am I not perfect, I'm about as "statistically" as far away from His glory than one can humanly get..Did I mention to you that I'm a women also? A Black women. A Muslim woman? Fine, most people will likely be like - huh? My response, Google Two Words: Aminah Wadud.

You see. Oh yeah, You made.... You don't care?? Ohh, I see-- I don't think you care-- yeah, big difference.

Okay, let's try this time: (Dark room full of strangers -- Anon-esqe). Hi, I'm Azizah.... (pause for polite responds). I have been emptied out and retrained that this "God thing "was a far-off menacing entity that wanted to burn me in hell for major infractions like --- wait, damn near everything that occurred in my life. Yeah, that about sums it. Then, all of a sudden, He manifested His Glory to me ....... right. They are going to lock me up. You're cool with this? That's who You are? Riiiiggght, I don't even know you like that. Let me look at your card one more time:

YOU are:
The Majestic
The Compeller (clearly)
The Mighty
The Protector
The Guardian of Faith
The Source of Peace (amen)
The Holy
The Sovereign Lord (yeah, that's real swagger)
The Merciful
The Beneficient.....

Yeah, fine. I'll tell the world. I am sprung, punch drunk, head over heels, call-the-radio-station-and -dedicate-a-song-to YOU, sprung on YOU... do you like me?

Circle: Yes or No... I can't help it. You made me funny!!

I'm gonna get a tee shirt made -- Azizah loves GOD. Yeah-- a little too flashy for my taste, as you know.

Clean

2010-02-26T06:07:00.000-08:00

There is a fierce wind blowing outside. The type of wind that encloses the very structure of your harm, warning you to beware.

I'd brave it if I had someplace in particular to go, but truthfully, no, not really.

Okay, there is Jummah Prayer, but wind, two kids, naptime--Yeah, no, not really. Only if Khalid is home, or I just get ultra desperate...can't say I[ve gotten that desperate yet, but watch me eat my words sooner than later. Thak you Allah for Lighthouse Mosque and their website. Virtual jummah , here we come.

So, what do you do on a day like this.

I want to clean. I want to clean my home; vacum, scrub, discard, organize, beautify. I want to burn incense and listen to Quran. I want to get a phone call or two -- i want to be my mother's child.

Zayd is going to help me. Baby Sistah has already decided that Friday isn't her day-- it's 9:13Am, mind you.

Here is to Nag Champa. Dust clothes. Good old bleach. And elbow grease.

Mood: 'Elington Was Not a Street' , Ntozake Shange
Kids; Zayd Oatmeal. Zuri-- screaming, just a rad-- kinda a mellow scream.

I Love You

2010-02-25T12:24:00.001-08:00

I love YOU. I love YOU. I love YOU. I do. May my actions speak louder than my words, but May YOURS too.

On Parenting

2010-02-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

Zayd, you are doing art. Zuri, you're abut to go into the Ergo so that I can accomplish some home task, insha'Allah. We're debating a winter walk, at least we'll hang out on the deck, insha'Allah.

It dawned on me today that what I want for you two is to witness an Islamic Revival. I too long for Andalusia. Mommy minute-- "Beautiful circle Zayd, ohh, I love it!!". Okay, back. I want a Muslim home filled with love, laughter, well loved visitors, not excess but comfort. Not Jennah, clearly, but the goodness of this world. I ask for it everyday in my du'a --"Oh Allah, I seek the goodness of this world and the hereafter".

Wow, what if-- I mean --- I'm supposed to and all. Yeah, I'm going to just --- can we say Yakeen (Certainty).

Oh Allah, guide my heart, my tongue, my words, my actions, my deeds. Let me praise You and exalt You in the best way that I can. The best of what you made me. I get it -- complicatingly simple. Alhamdulilah.

Mawlid

2010-02-24T07:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am clueless how to celebrate a Mawlid, but we will, insha'Allah watch the live web streaming. I pray that can hook up some good speakers. I guess maybe Jummah Mubarak with more sweets?? Clueless. Let me research.

(Thank You Allah for Sesame Street).

Happy Morning

2010-02-24T05:18:00.000-08:00

9:18AM and Zayd is still asleep. Zuri Mama, you're crawling on the floor babbling something about something or another. I feel guilty grabbing this little swatch of time to write and reflect, but Alhamdullilah, I can honestly say that I've worked hard to earn it.

Our organization/housework routine is going well, alhamdulliah. We've both failed in a few small minor areas, but we're both stressing consistency, rather than unattainable perfection. Hey, love what Allah love we both say.

I love working with my husband. Wow, that statement is shocking to even me. As much as we bump heads, when it's good, it's really good. I thank Allah for such a beautiful mate.

Less chores has allowed me to spend much more time in the place that I LOVE -- the kitchen. I've been putting as much love, prayer, and umphh in my food as humanly possible. Khalid seems to love it. Zayd is a little harsher of a critic.

We want to act like we're better than premium fish sticks and Annie's fries, but when you get the best of the best, it's still REALLY good!! I love that it's a dinner tonight that we will all love, insha'Allah. I love my funny food snob husband too.

Okay, Zuri fussy butt butt needs direct eye contact.

Todays Quranic Reflection: Remember the trials of Job.
Task: Teleconference Halaqah preperation. Du'a & more du'a.

God is, God Is, God Is

2010-02-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

I've been really thinking lately about taqwa. What does it mean, how does it apply to my life, how do I develop it in myself and cultivate it in my family.

What I love about Allah's creation is the internal compass. Most times, when I'm doing something displeasing to Allah, I feel some shame or guilt -- in some aspect of another. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, questioned his own actions at time, and he was clearly in higher esteem with God than I.

The moral compass seems to be a good place to start-- maybe even the best. Shortly after, I'd have to say in my own humble opinion is knowledge. However knowledge must be implemented with kindness, and in a way understood by the recipient. Without the kindness, the patience, the wisdom, knowledge falls on deaf ears. I've seen this in my own life at least.

Sums it up well. Cited from Al Mahgrib Institute.

One of our Muslim ancestors said:
"How sweet Iman is when it's beautified with Knowledge.
And how sweet Knowledge is when it's beautified with Implementation.
And how sweet Implementation is when it's beautified with Kindness.

The greatest pair of things is Implementation coupled with Kindness."

Zayd is Creative!!

2010-02-23T04:49:00.000-08:00

Zuri Mama

2010-02-23T04:37:00.000-08:00

Comes Ease

2010-02-22T17:59:00.000-08:00

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease.
(Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6)

Today, unlike last week, was one of those days that left me feeling extremely grateful and content. We started a new cleaning system, which has helped to break down the monotony of housework into do-able chunks for Khalid and I. Alhamdullilah.

Always the emotional cook, I made a sultry pot, if I must say so myself, of black eyed peas. Nothing fills the home with more joy than the smell of good food bubbling in anticipation of dinner. Khalid and I both realize that we LOVE beans. Not only are the cost-efficient, they are really good. I make at least one pot a week.

Zayd, you played with playdough for the longest time today. It is so god seeing your attention span increase and your imagination grow. We discussed shapes, colors, food items, and counting. Your little funny tail made me a birthday cake, complete with candle. We sang and blew the candle out together.

Zuri, you are so tough and rowdy. At the same time, you are the most emotionally sensitive being I've ever encountered. Okay, besides myself, my mother, my sister, and give or take five girlfriends. Women, even baby women, are such amazingly complicated creatures. However, in the whole scheme of things, our needs are quite simple: Food. Encouragement. Love. Validation. Kindness. Mercy. Jovialness at the correct times. It's a lot, but then again, it's just right.

You two also took a bath -- no kicking this time. We had the greatest time extending a hearty welcome to each of our animal bath buddies. We accidentally left them in Cali, and G-Dad, always so diligent, sent them to us. We all agreed that the animals seem to enjoy the Shaheed Family bathtub. We prayed Mahgrib with daddy -- having you two crawl all over us the whole time was such a good reminder. We ate a nice dinner together, and you two read and played with your daddy while I took a nice bubble bath and had some personal time.

The schedule allowed me to pack you father's lunch, lay the whole families clothes out, and have a dinner snack schedule already in place. Alhamdullilah for efficiency. Now let's pray we both stick to it-- for everyone's sake.

Allah blessed us with wonderful day. Alhamdullilah.

Peace be unto you

2010-02-19T02:33:00.000-08:00

As salaam alaikum,
My little bald-headed chicken. Why are you just the sweetest thing? Is there anything sweeter than a baby? Oky, toddler kisses and encouragement also rank high on my list of luvies, but a baby...ahhh. I found myself sniffing you and rubbing your little bald spot with my nose and lips. It's my favorite thing to do when you're asleep in my arms. I wish I could bottle your scent, the softness of your fuzzy hair, your laugh. I never tire of your toothless grin. My baby.

I pray that you are more than I -- so much more. More pious, more knowledgeable, more patient, more kind, of greater taqwa, of better character. I pray all of these things in the wee hours of the morning. Insha'Alah. Insha'Allah.

I encompass all of that in my sincere prayer that you never, ever, not even for one mili second, doubt my undying and unconditional love for you.

And surely after difficulty

2010-02-18T14:11:00.000-08:00

Z-Team,
We are wrapping up one of those amazing days that make it all worth while. An all day trip to the library, followed by lunch and a few books from our loot, just made my day.

Zayd, watching you sit quietly at the table and "read" your books made me feel so very happy inside. If nothing else, I pray that I can instill within you an insatiable urge to seek knowledge. Okay, I'm lying, my goals are so much more lofty than that, but that one ranks high on my list.

Zuri, you crawled around babbling and yanking books of of the low shelves, to the delight of the librarian. Librarians are some of the smartest people I've ever met. Blessings to Umm Sundiata for hipping me to that game.

We sent "Daddy" some pictures of the light to enjoy. I pray it brightened his day.

In Sum

2010-02-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

Zayd & Zuri,
Today wasn't Mommy's most shiningest day. I play date gone bad -- Zayd, you have to work on your food sharing issues. A messy kitchen. A disheveled poop filled morning, which resulted in me feeling like I had a disheveled poop filled life. Me curling into fetal position ball, holding myself in the dark by 7PM.

I hollered a little too much. I complained a little too much. I got annoyed a little too much. I blamed your father a little to much.

Khalid came in happily with old Valentine's roses and chocolate. I quickly removed all joy from his spirit by fleeing from you two to begin my under the covers fetal positon pity fest. The Messenger of Allah, peace be unto him, said that even a smile is an act of charity. I always loved that hadith, because smiles are things that I readily love to give. Today however, I seriously didn't even have it in me. I should've though-- man, it's so easy to forget your blessings!!

At 2AM, I woke up to asses the damage. The house was spotless, the kids were asleep. Khalid too, downstairs in the safety of the guest bedroom. I woke him up. We smiled and laughed. I apologized, he apologized. As usual, he understood. I want to promise him that it won't happen again, but we both know that I'd be lying.

This job is HARD. I want so bad to do it perfectly, however unrealistic that is. At my lowest, I at least want to do it at the level of a state accredited day care -- eye contact, food on time, activities. I so don't want to fail you two -- you're the best things I've ever had..also, the most challenging.

Mommy is praying for some reliable and affordable help. You mother clearly needs some help. A lot more personal time. A few dates. A little quiet. Balance is always a good thing.

Khalid loves to show me how even at our worst, we always are able to look back and laugh. Here's to praying that this too, will be a laughable memory.

Today in bullet form:

* Messy house. Burnt pot. Hair that needs to be done.
* Crappy diapers. Group baths with a lot of "Zayd, stop kicking your sister!!"
* Zayd flashing his playmates with his baby man glory-- the doorbell rang while i was trying to wrangle in the second wet naked child. (That part was kinda funny).
* Zuri screaming... kinda the norm.
* Zad snatching his veggi nuggets from Keila & Jenna and screaming like a mad man while running towards the couch, bar b que sauce and all.
* Zayd hiding under the table greedily gobbling nuggets so he didn't have to share.
* Jenna going after Zayd for a nugget -- that little girl got heart.
* Keila looking at Zayd perplexed and confused-- she is so refined, masha'Allah.
* Zayd making a "train" on the rug with my craft supplies and some glue. Zuri participating in the "art".
* Me deciding that your father was the anti-Christ for.. yeah, just about everything.
* Me rolling my eyes at flowers and candy -- I'm so not a flowers candy chick, but I could've played it off at least....fine, I do like flowers... I prefer potted plants though.

Happy Moments:
* Baby Abiade here safely.
* Mama Abiade is healing.
* House clean. Didn't have to do it.
* Contacted and old professor from law school.
* Saw good friend and her sweet girls.
* Healthy family.
Alhamdullilah.

The moral of the story is:
Sometimes we receive clear signs in our life that we need to change up a few things. So yes, I hear You, loud and clear. Thank You for lessons learned. Also, group eating dos not work well for toddlers. Individual plates are a must.

Going to go eat my chocolate... don't want to be wasteful and all.

A Kodak moment, but not

2010-02-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

I wanted to blog, but Zuri sensed her milk had left the bedroom and woke up immediately to reconnect with her bff, my boobie. As such, I am one-handed typing with a pissy 7 month old on my lap. Sweet as can be, but pissy.

Zayd has decided that he is deathly afraid of shadows. As such, he is in our bedroom sleeping in Zuri's co-sleeper. I pray to God that we don't make a habit out of it, but I guess I have officially garnered my hippie card with the family bed in full action... not a look that I ever wanted. All those that live here, over the age of two, passionately agree with my vehement distaste.

Anyway, here is my favorite picture of the day. Man we love watching this little boy grow up. Masha'Allah, he is pure energy and emotion, bottled up in a toddler size package. May Allah protect and guide him and Baby Pissy, today and always. Amen

Patiently awaiting news of the birth of a new little one. Praying for safe passage. Amen.

Seven Months!!

2010-02-11T07:45:00.000-08:00

Zuri Mama. Who told you you could grow up so quickly?? What happened to my little nursing rag-doll who made her appearance on the foyer floor in July? Zuri Baby Doll, where exactly did the time go? I know it was hot when you arrived, and now we have record breaking snow on the ground. Why does it seem like it was only yesterday??

Zuri Love, a part of me wants to ask Allah to slow this process down, but the wiser side knows that, alhamdullilah, growth is a blessing. I am so thankful for your good health and rapid development. You are seriously trying to walk!!

Zuri Mama, you are the quintessential second child. Far less hoopla, far less pictures, far less worry from your daddy and I, but the love- Zuri Baby Girl, I didn't know I could love like this. Opening my heart to a second child has been, by far, one of the most profound experiences in my life. I am so thankful for my "surprise" baby girl. You bring our family so much joy.

Zuri Zuu, you really are a mess. I've come to the conclusion that you've substituted my boob for your umbilical cord. This morning, your daddy just gave me the longest hug. We both agree that you spent at least 80% of the night nursing furiously. I know you are teething, and I know that that's got to be hard, but just try to save some breast tissue for the next baby, insha'Allah, okay Love.

Zuri bint Khalid, the snow is so beautiful. Alhamdullilah, we are having an amazing winter. We got the best of the California sun, followed by experiencing record snowfall. I am having a ball dressing you in fuzzy leg warmers and your brother's hand-me-down Robeez boots. Daddy had been home with us since Tuesday -- the roads are too bad for him to go to work. We have been kicking it like teenagers -- you and your brother have been like guest at our party!!

Let me tell you a little about yourself. You like to:

1. Scream at people (Yes, I placed that at the top for a reason...in your defense, it might be teething related).
2. Pull up on things and yell triumphantly
3. Nurse like a banchee
4. Jack all of Zayd's toys (All I hear is "No Baby! Nooo!! Danger-wuss!!"
5. Crawl over and shake the gate.
6. Act shy around new people
7. Chew on power cords (Sad, but true)
8. Beg for whatever I'm eating
9. Delight us with your smile
10. Nurse all night and sleep in between Daddy and I like the biggest hater on the block.... I'm thinking this is some type of evolutionary thing, to keep yourself as the youngest for as long as possible.
11. Take baths with your brother

Things you'll likely use against me and/or tell your therapist about later in life:

1. We are just getting your "Big Girl" room together
2. We owe you a professional photo shoot
3. You still don't technically have a set schedule
4. Sometimes I purposefully leave food on the floor for you to find later -- you get so excited!!

All and all, I feel like I am finally settling in to being the mother of two. I am looking forward to Spring, insha'Allah, and taking you and Zayd out as much as possible. Wait until you see the cherry blooms for the first time. As for now, I'm trying to just enjoy each moment of this amazingly crazy journey.

Thank you Allah so very much for this beautiful family. I pray that my gratitude is far,far greater than my occasional attitude.....Amen.

Our Little Snow Bunny

2010-02-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes

2010-01-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes Momma needs prayer, remembrance, Quran, and a little Bob Marley... just sometimes.

Jummah Mubarak!!

2010-01-28T15:40:00.001-08:00

In an effort to give the kiddies a fun and exciting Islamic upbringing, we've implemented really taking to heart that Friday (Yawm Jummah) is our holiday!!

My goals are small, and might not occur every week, but insha'Allah, we will put up our battery powered IKEA lights, have a good dinner--might be more like Friday night, but we'll see, and just really prepare for going to the Masjid, if and when Daddy is home to accompany us.

I pray that we can sincerely start a Shaheed Family tradition, insha'Allah.

Mantra

2010-01-27T21:50:00.001-08:00

Nothing exists but what He wills. Nothing exists but what He wants. Whatever He wills is what He wants and there exists nothing better.

Good Mommy Info

2010-01-27T16:43:00.000-08:00

Nurturing your preschooler's self-esteem may seem like a hefty responsibility. After all, a feeling of self-worth lays the foundation for your preschooler's future as he sets out to try new things on his own. "Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we're capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile," says California family therapist Jane Nelsen, co-author of the Positive Discipline series.

"As any parent knows, self-esteem is a fleeting experience," says Nelsen. "Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don't. What we're really trying to teach our kids are life skills like resiliency." Your goal as a person is to ensure that your child develops pride and self-respect — in himself and in his cultural roots — as well as faith in his ability to handle life's challenges (for a preschooler that may mean copying capital letters accurately). Here are ten simple strategies to help boost your child's self-esteem:

Give unconditional love. A child's self-esteem flourishes with the kind of no-strings-attached devotion that says, "I love you, no matter who you are or what you do." Your child benefits the most when you accept him for who he is regardless of his strengths, difficulties, temperament, or abilities. So lavish him with love. Give him plenty of cuddles, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. And don't forget to tell him how much you love him. When you do have to correct your child, make it clear that it's his behavior — not him — that's unacceptable. For instance, instead of saying, "You're a naughty boy! Why can't you be good?" say, "Pushing Gabriel isn't nice. It can hurt. Please don't push."

Pay attention. Carve out time to give your preschooler your undivided attention. That does wonders for your child's self-worth because it sends the message that you think he's important and valuable. It doesn't have to take a lot of time; it just means taking a moment to stop flicking through the mail if he's trying to talk with you or turning off the TV long enough to answer a question. Make eye contact so it's clear that you're really listening to what he's saying. When you're strapped for time, let your child know it without ignoring his needs. Say, "Tell me all about the picture you drew, and then when you're finished, I'll need to make our dinner."

Teach limits. Establish a few reasonable rules for your preschooler. For instance, if you tell your child he has to eat his snack in the kitchen, don't let him wander around the family room with his crackers and fruit the next day. Or if you tell him to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, don't say it's okay to pile them on the floor. Knowing that certain family rules are set in stone will help him feel more secure. It may take constant repetition on your part, but he'll start to live by your expectations soon enough. Just be clear and consistent and show him that you trust him to do the right thing.

Support healthy risks. Encourage your child to explore something new, such as trying a different food, finding a best pal, or riding a bike. Though there's always the possibility of failure, without risk there's little opportunity for success. So let your child safely experiment, and resist the urge to intervene. For instance, try not to "rescue" him if he's showing mild frustration at figuring out a new toy. Even jumping in to say, "I'll do it" can foster dependence and diminish your child's confidence. You'll build his self-esteem by balancing your need to protect him with his need to tackle new tasks.

Let mistakes happen. The flip side, of course, of having choices and taking risks is that sometimes your child is bound to make mistakes. These are valuable lessons for your child's confidence. So if your child puts his plate too close to the edge of the table and it tips, encourage him to think about what he might do differently next time. That way his self-esteem won't sag and he'll understand that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. When you goof up yourself, admit it, says Daniel Meier, assistant professor of elementary education at San Francisco State University. Acknowledging and recovering from your mistakes sends a powerful message to your child — it makes it easier for your child to accept his own shortcomings.

Celebrate the positive. Everyone responds well to encouragement, so make an effort to acknowledge the good things your child does every day within his earshot. For instance, tell his dad, "Joshua washed all the vegetables for dinner." He'll get to bask in the glow of your praise and his dad's heartening response. And be specific. Instead of saying "Good job," say, "Thank you for waiting so patiently in line." This will enhance his sense of accomplishment and self-worth and let him know exactly what he did right.

Listen well. If your child needs to talk, stop and listen to what he has to say. He needs to know that his thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions matter. Help him get comfortable with his emotions by labeling them. Say, "I understand you're sad because you have to say bye to your school pals." By accepting his emotions without judgment, you validate his feelings and show that you value what he has to say. If you share your own feelings ("I'm excited about going to the zoo"), he'll gain confidence expressing his own.

Resist comparisons. Comments such as "Why can't you be more like your sister?" or "Why can't you be nice like Peter?" will just remind your child of where he struggles in a way that fosters shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as "You're the best player" are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image. If you let your child know you appreciate him for the unique individual he is, he'll be more likely to value himself too.

Offer empathy. If your child compares himself unfavorably to his siblings or peers ("Why can't I catch a ball like Sophia?"), show him empathy and then emphasize one of his strengths. For instance, say, "You're right. Sophia is good at catching. And you're good at painting pictures." This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that he doesn't have to be perfect to feel good about himself.

Provide encouragement. Every child needs the kind of support from loved ones that signals, "I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!" Encouragement means acknowledging progress — not just rewarding achievement. So if your preschooler is struggling to fasten his snaps, say, "You're trying very hard and you almost have it!" instead of "Not like that. Let me do it."

There's a difference between praise and encouragement. One rewards the task while the other rewards the person ("You did it!" rather than "I'm proud of you!"). Praise can make a child feel that he's only "good" if he does something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. "Tell me about your drawing. I see that you like purple" is more helpful than saying, "That's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen." Too much praise can sap self-esteem because it can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. So dole out the praise judiciously and offer encouragement liberally; it will your child grow up to feel good about himself.

Source: http://www.babycenter.com/0_ten-ways-to-build-your-childs-self-esteem_65569.bc?scid=preschooler_20100126:4&pe=2U4EG7u

Faith Without Action

2010-01-27T13:31:00.001-08:00

A dear friend and I had a talk about life, marriage, children, more life...lol. You know a good friend when you leave their company having gained a tidbit of knowledge or inspiration. Life is too short to really waste time in niceties for the sake of niceties. So, I left our conversation more in love with God, and so much more inspired to just be my own personal best.

My husband talks often to me about balance. "Remember", he says, "Allah loves consistency". He reminds me when I try to take on too much, or be too much, to just pick a few things and do them as best I can, and do them consistently. As annoyed as I sometimes get at being told about myself, I see it as an opportunity to grow. Growth takes applied pressure sometimes-- so I'm learning.

Alhamdullilah, I feel so productive today. I truly know that there will be many more days when I won't feel like this, but I sincerely pray for more days that I do. Running a household and a family is an amazingly challenging job, but I'd be a fool not to tell you that it isn't the best fit for me, right now. Lol, now maybe when I don't have a six month old baby gnawing on my boob, there might be another fit for me. Heck, maybe the next fit might be sooner than later; Allah knows best.

All that I can do is do my best whatever gets hurled my way, and love Allah with all my heart. Allah, God, whatever name you want to call Him, I think for the most part, that's what people are trying to do.

I had a wonderful day with my father, alhamdullilah. He is truly one of my best companions. His wisdom, gentle spirit, unyielding love, and assistance has been such a true blessing. I will and continue to be, insha'Allah, a Daddy's Girl.

Enough about me. Zuri is presently walking across the kitchen floor, while being assisted with Zayd's chair. Zayd is taking a much needed nap after a rousing trip to the local library and a good haircut. I feel like a pirate with a lot of booty, looking at all the books and books on tape that we checked out. Joy. Alhamdullilah.

Okay, lemme get cracking for dinner for my favorite man....smile, smile, wink, wink. Swoon.

...Zuri is so down there licking the floor and trying to eat things..play pen, here we come..

A Love of My Own

2010-01-24T01:47:00.000-08:00

Perspective truly is everything. I could lament about how I lost my voice, the airline lost my luggage, and I'm awake at 4:21 AM with a miserably sick Zayd and an incessantly nursing Zuri. I could, and I guess I kind of did, but it's okay. It's okay for so many more reasons than it's not, and that's the beauty in it all.

A dear friend implemented making a list of things she was grateful for before she went to bed. What a good idea. Truthfully, the ability to go to bed would likely be my choice for slots 1-5, but in the meantime..

Here, in this moment, I am grateful for:

1. A milk filled baby who crawled away to explore.
2. A clean house & a well stocked kitchen (My husband rocks, Masha'Allah)
3. The nice advise nurse that assured me, several times, that Zayd's cold doesn't warrant an immediate trip to the ER.
4. Elmo DVDs
5. Heat
6. Being awake for fajr.
7. The blessing received from mothering -- what a beautiful merciful bonus.
8. A milk filled baby who crawled back for seconds.
9. The ability to type with one hand.
1o. My father sleeping downstairs.
11. My husband asleep upstairs.
12. Peppermint tea
13. Children's Motrin
14. Peace
15.Stillness
16. motherhood
17. Cold feet to remind me of those that do without
18. Found luggage that finally arrived at my doorstep
19. All my stuff
20. A life full of joy and trials

SHUKR: thankfulness, gratitude.

2010-01-22T08:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm so pimping my baby blog. Not for a commercial request, but for a prayer request. I am ready to SEE MY HUSBAND!!! Aghh!! However, it seems like it's not the time, just yet. The flight was canceled yesterday. Zayd spiked a fever last night. Alhamdullilah, Zuri is well though. Alhamdullilah for it all, in all honesty.

Anyway, I really WANT to see my husband and sleep in my home..

Oh Allah (Dear God) please help this poor lil' sleep deprived mama and her two babies to get home. Ya Allah, please hear the prayers of the traveler. Lord, please just get them, and all their stuff from Point A to Point B. Oh, and please allow the whole family to be in constant and continuous gratitude for the multitude of blessings You have bestowed upon them. Please bless the prayer, even more than the recipient, if that's Your will, ameen.

Zuri's Favorite Things

2010-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

This is, by far, you favorite place to sleep. I know I am likely breaking every sleep training rule in the book, but it works for your cranky butt, and gives me back both of my hands...joy.
Grammy Jeddah says it best Zuri, you are "truly something else".

I want to act like I don't know how I gave birth to a high-maintenance chick, but I know I'd be lying. Seeing the development of emotions through your little being has taught me so much more about myself. You are a baby woman through and through and through. I just sincerely pray that Allah gives me both the wisdom and the patience to help you walk your path. I also pray for the mental, physical, emotional strength, and fortitude to be there for you in whatever way that Allah sees fit. You are an amana (trust) from Allah. My daughter, my jewel. I am changing daily-- growing I sincerely pray. I pray that my actions mirror my words, but most of all, I pray that I continue to learn and grow on my quest towards better knowing and serving Him.

Baby 'Tista Zuri

2010-01-15T23:25:00.001-08:00

Zayd, remember we agreed to start the Roman Calendar right! This post will be devoted to Zuri, insha'Allah....... as soon as she finishes nursing, and waving pretty brown fingers in my face, and being so soft, sweet, and dang on adorable, Masha'Allah. Yeah, not now, but soon. Insha'Allah.

Plane, Trains , & Automobiles (Dallas Style)

2009-12-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

"Baby 'Tista" took her first plane ride with you to Dallas, TX. We went to go see your grandparents, who spoiled you rotten. I love that I love going to visit them, they are so good with you and Baby Girl.

It took us sooo long to get through security. I'm going to be nice and say it wasn't a hijabi thing... It was right after the Ft. Hood tragedy, and I was both sad and litlle skeptical about flying to, of all places, Texas. Being directlly after the incident, I was very worried for our safety. I asked Allah to guide us, but it was the first time I began to think that my sweet little hijab(lol) could be a hinderance to us getting from Point A to Point B.

I've been harassed more times that i can count, but what can you really do about it--security is security. Alhamdullilah, it was a seamless trip through Baltimore Washington International Airport... Mommy is going to be militant and call it it's proper name, Thurgood Marshall Airport. I was extremely nervous about flying with two little ones, but you both were remarkably well behaved... Okay, I won't mention how you started jumping up and down and screaming "Obama" at the top of your lungs while on the tarmac of the returning flight. Yeah, we won't mention that.

"

Coming Back

2009-12-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to you Zayd. Using your same old e-flat pitched note as an instrument in your world of make believe. We're in California with Grammy Jeddah and G-Dad. You seem to be as happy as can be, although I know you miss your daddy. You actually told me as much.

I'm loving you as a big brother. A part of you is still a baby, but a part of you has already grown to become Mommy's Big Boy. As chauvinistic as it may sound, there is no greater pride than having a strong, healthy, and beautiful son. I love your little strange witty self. I thank Allah for you everyday. In fact, i need to thank HIM more. I love you my beautiful boy. My sweet little Chocolate Frog. Mommy's Lil Butt Butt. Zaydee-Pooh.

We won't try to fill in the blanks, but at the same time, I'll try my hardest to catch up where I left off.

Okay, let's clean, dance, and listen to funky Moroccan Jazz with Baby 'Tistah on my back. I love you --- I love our life together.

Zayd the Artist

2009-02-07T18:28:00.001-08:00

Snowy Days

2009-02-07T18:24:00.001-08:00

New Shoes

2009-02-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

Zayd has the annoying habit of kicking off is shoes. He is notorious for sheddign his shoes and socks while in his carseat. He's also been known to kick a shoe or two off while in his stroller, or in a store. Most times we get lucky and notice before we stray too far from the show. However, our luck ran out last month, when Zayd decided to kick his shoe off on the National Mall. We were there with Khalid's parents, his Aunt, and our nephew. We don't know how long he rode around in his stroller with one shoe on, but we figure it was between the Museum of American Histoy, and the Vietnam War Memorial. I was so angry at Zayd. Here we go, spending good money on providing him with good shoes, and he goes and kicks it off.

My mother in law back tracked with me in a search for the missing shoe, however it was dark and late, so we decided to just call it a night. Zayd, obvlious to all of the hoopla, seemed to be very content with one sock exposed foot.

Today I finally headed to Stride Rite to get Zayd another pair of shoes. He's been wearing some winter boots that Grammy Jeddah (my mom) bought him in the meantime. Zayd has exclusively worn Clarks since he began to walk. I dind't feel like driving 40 minutes to the Clark's Outlet, so we ended up at our local Stride Rite. I found a decent pair of shoes that looked sturdy, were made of leather, and were flexible. These ones have ties, so I'm hoping that if i tie them tight, he can't kick them off.

I Like:

Dylan (Infant/Toddler)
by Stride Rite

"A-dee-dah"

2009-02-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

Zayd calls me "A-dee-dah." You put emphasis on the "dee" part. I have to admit that it's the word that he says most clearly. Okay, that and "dog."He loves to go around the house singing my name. I want to be annoyed, but it is pretty funny. Zayd is something else.

17 Months

2009-02-04T05:01:00.000-08:00

Zayd,
You are 17 months old. If I had to use two words to describe you, they'd be hilarious handful. You are social, onry, moody, and passionate, all wrapped up into about 24 lbs. You keep me on my toes. You also keep me looking for good, yet affordable, daycares where I can drop your butt off. Your daily schedule goes something like this, give or take.

Note: When you wake up insanely early, we pop you in your highchair in front of cartoons, give you some food -- something that wont leave a lasting effect on the furniture if you decide to throw it-- and proceed to go back to bed until a decent time.

7:30- 8:30 : You wake up by screaming loudly from your crib everyday. You seem to not really be a morning person, because you wake up with an air of genera pissed-offedness that I really don't understand. I mean I get to you quickly, and you always give that look like, "Yeah, you knew I was about to wake up, you shoulda been here already!". The good thing is that when I greet you with a little smile and jig, you smile back, and we seem to be cool.

8:30 -10:00 : You hate to get your diaper changes before you eat breakfast. You fight me and scream like a banchee. I don't know why you'd prefer to sit in a pissy diaper while you dine, but to each his own. Sometimes I leave you alone, other times I just take your wrath. You scream me a lot.

Breakfast usually consist of fruit (an apple or a banana),and one of the following steel cut oats, regular oats, waffles, pancakes, or baby cereal. The baby cereal is by far my favorite, because it just require warm water. I also add a little pure maple syrup in it for some added flavor. You seem to like waffles or toast the best. You also love your applesauce. We both seem to be breakfast people.

Most times you like to listen to music or harass me while I check my email. When your done you mostly scream and make hand gestures. I wipe off your face and hands, yet another fight, and you hop out your chair and race to watch Playhouse Disney or PBS Kids.

By this time I'm usually talking to Grammy Jeddah, and doing damage control in the kitchen, so this works out well.

When you get bored with your shows, you like to toss your ball around, ride on your car, jump off of your car, look out the window, and scream to be held so that you can bang on my laptop.
By this time you mostly stink really bad, so we head upstairs to your room to change you and get you dressed. Sometimes, okay a lot of times, "dressed" just means fresh pjs or other inside play clothes.

I was totally lazy with you during my first trimester of this pregnancy. I'm trying to go back to more of a normal schedule, but Mommy does not like leaving the house in the cold. When we do get out, we mostly run errands and try to incorporate two baby-specific activities a week. I know your little brain would love to be in a school with some other children. We're really working on that.

Nap time falls around 12:30 pm. You like to eat before you go down, but you seem to like a bigger snack once you get back up, around 2:30 or 3:00. Sometimes you pop up earlier than that... I hate those days.

You like to play and get into things while I make dinner or "remember" that I should make the bed before Khalid come home. You are a champion tear-upper, so I spend a lot of time doing damage control. Sometimes I just give up and sit with you while you bring me book after book.

I realized the other day that you literally have books in every room. I like that you know where they are, even if that means under my bed, and you bring them to my through out the day. Right now, your all time favorite seems to be 'Where is Spot'. It's a flip book where yore asked to look different places to see if Spot is hiding there. You crack us up when you say "Dooo". It's funny, because you have "No" down, but for some reason, when you ask you "Is he under the chair?", your response is always and excited "Dooo!".

I love exposing you to different genres of music. Sometimes we'll surf you tube together, just to listen to different songs. When you get excited, you do this dance which consist of a lot of wild jumping and some dramatic falling down.

We try to get you in the bed around 8:30. Sometimes, on good days, Daddy is home to read you book, give you a bath, and put you down. On other days, it's all me. You still like to drink bathwater with your little nasty self. You also like splashing the water. You also like to play with your "little friend"m but Mommy is not going to embarrass you by mentioning that..oops.

You go down much easier for bedtime than you do for your nap. Once your are greased and pj'd, you are ready to get in your crib. you lay on your stomach with your butt in the air and look totally wiped out. It cracks me up.

You love to "help" with the laundry.

Yes you can pick me up!!!

Zayd loves this video

2009-01-26T15:33:00.000-08:00

Zayd likes to Wiggle

2009-01-23T08:51:00.000-08:00

November 4, 2008 - Yes We Did!!

2009-01-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

Do It Yourself Family Photo

2009-01-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

In an effort to use one of the plethora of buttons on y camera, I decided to take a self portrait of the family.
After piling a kitchen stool high with books, assembling the guys, and perfecting the lighting, the action began. It took about six shots to get everyone looking at the camera with their eyes open.
Zayd was a good sport, although I think he was curious about why I kept running from the couch to the propped up camera and yelling or everyone to smile.

The Wining Shot!!

October 2008

2008-10-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Eid Mubarak

Okay, so maybe I'm a little late, but Eid Mubarak to all. Alhamdullilah, our family had a wonderful Eid celebration, filled with good food, great company, and surprisingly good weather.

Zayd decided that he wanted to dress like his Uncle Ismael (yes, Zayd has a say in his clothing selection) so we went with grey slacks, a sweater vest, and a crisp white shirt. I know I'm his mother, which makes me inherently biased, but I had to say that the kid looked fresh to death.

A mixture of nostalgia and not being able to find anything I really loved, led me to put on the outfit I wore a little over three years ago for our nikkah. It is still, by far, one of my favorite outfits, so i was happy. Pappa Khalid wore a nice grey suit.

Zayd received a plethora of gifts in the mail from his grandparents, and Mommy & Daddy got a lot of good stuff too- if I must say so myself. Most importantly, it was good celebrating yet another wonderful Ramadan. Our family is truly blessed to be in the presence of so many dynamic and loving couples. As much as we both get homesick sometimes, we have to admit that DC has been a good home for us.

Zayd, I Think You're Sleepy

2008-09-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

13 Months

2008-09-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

13 Month Update

Weight: 21lbs 10oz.

Words: Bye-bye, Da-dee, Night-Night, and a lot of babble.

Favorite Hobbies: Getting into anything and everything; taking diaper off and peeing in random places; sticking hand in toilet; throwing objects in toilet; screaming; running; anything that involves being in the presence of older children; ignoring Mommy; climbing on everything; going up and down the stair unassisted; bringing you a book to read, then walking away after page two.

Favorite Foods: Meat -- you name it, he loves it. Noodles, plums, peas, asparagus, salmon, breastmilk.

Teeth: Two top & two bottom.

Ramadan Mubarak!

2008-09-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

The way it was looking, this was more so going to be an Eid Mubarak post! I pray that Allah accepts the prayers and fasting of all of the believers.

This photo pretty much sums my Ramadan up in a nutshell, and no, this is not a doctored photo. Zayd likes to throw things from his playpen onto my prayer rug while I make salaat. By the end of my prayer, it often looks like I'm an idol worshiper. If I don't put him in the pen, he tries to tackle me or grab my preyer rug and take off like a little banchee-- six in one hand, half a dozen in the other.

Ramadan with a toddler is a lot different than Ramadan pre-child. I spend a lot less time at the masjid, and the nights I do get there, I'm pleasantly surprised if Zayd can hang until Isha. it's different, but I know that this is yet another stage in my life. I try to utilize the last swatches of night and the early mornings before Zayd rises as much as possible. Alahamdullilah, this truly has been a blessed month. I've really enjoyed the quiet peacefulness of our household. I find myself getting lost in the little world that we've created. I'm so grateful for my guys.

We decided that wagon time was much more exciting than cleaning up that day.

Go to Bed Zayd

2008-08-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

So it's 12:20AM, and my child is clapping in his crib and having a really heated debate with himself in baby talk. Go to bed Zayd! I know it's my fault. We spent the night over a friend's house last night, and we went to an amazing dinner party tonight. I know he's already off of his loosely based schedule. I guess that's why I've settled on just sitting in his room with him until he eventually falls out. Okay, he's back in protest mode. He just threw his blanket out of the crib. Now he has decided to lay down and kick the slates. Go to bed Zayd!

Okay, he's back up trying to be cute and social. I'm so not falling for it. Now he is running back and forth in his crib screaming and bouncing on his mattress. I'm going to bed. My kid is drunk with fatigue.. Goodnight Zayd. No, I don't want to talk to you right now. Maybe in the morning. Yes, you are really cute. No, I'm not picking you up. No, I'm not laughing with you. Yes, that is a wonderful trick; It will be even better when the sun comes up. You look like a little pacing penguin. You are delirious child. I'm going to bed. You are on your own man. Go to bed Zayd.

First Haircut

2008-08-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

Zayd got his first hair cut on August 23. He totally cried like a baby . I was more so happy that I wouldn't have to fight with him to comb his hair any more. The barber wasn't really trying to "feel" my vision, but after a few talks and some animated gestures, he succeeded in giving Zayd the ultimate baby fro-hawk. I think my kid looks like a rock star.

Before
He knew something was going on, just not quite what.
The comb was never really his friend.
Oh the agony.
I think he hated all of us at this point.
After

Introducing the new Zayd, aka "Butt Butt", aka "This Is Why I'm Hot", aka " Stunt Man".

Zayd's Year in Pictures

2008-08-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

August 20, 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

Happy Birthday Zayd!

2008-08-19T17:29:00.001-07:00

I am the proud mother of a rambuncous, running, walking, stumbling, daredevil, two-toothed, moody like his mama, jokes in baby language telling, super social, lover of all fine foods (fine meaning seasoned real good), wild haired, screaming at the top of his lungs with joy, still not sleeping through the nighting, diaper taking offing, smart as he wants to be, sweet kissing, fearless, beautiful brown eyed,
little boy.

Happy Birthday Zayd.
You truly are the best of me.

P.S. - Mommy promises to update your blog more. It would be a little easier if you'd stop "helping" me type.

Zayd the Walker

2008-06-23T04:55:00.001-07:00

Zayd & Gravity

2008-06-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Good Things Come In Big Packages

2008-06-19T20:03:00.001-07:00

For all that don't know, I'm pretty much a baby gear whore. Even pre-Zayd, I spent hours and hours on end researching strollers, baby carriers, diaper bags, you name it. I love baby gear like most women love shoes and clothes. I'd make Khalid drive me to Buy Buy Baby in Rockville, MD, just so I could test out all of the high tech strollers. I'd literally spend hours in the store talking to other moms and moms to be about the pros and cons between the Bugaboo and the Quinny Buzz. I'd even debate with store employees about the best all-time stroller. I was totally offered a job there once. Strollers are by far my weakness. Followed closely by baby carriers.

When I found out I was pregnant with Zayd, I was sure that I was going to bite the bullet and buy this.

Khalid told me I was crazy, my family told me I was crazy, and even most of my friends thought I was being ridiculously impractical. Only few, select, people (ie. Kalia) understood the significance of the Bugaboo Chameleon. It is the staple of the young, urban, trendy, lifestyle. Okay, so maybe it cost a pretty penny, and has to be disassembled to place in your car, and you have to pay extra for the cup holder....so what. The Bugaboo screams hip, young, urban, mom-- I so want to resound hip, young, urban, mom.

I got close to purchasing the stroller a few times. My dear friend Ama even earmarked her gift to be used towards the purchase of my coveted stroller. I got as far as putting my beloved Bugaboo into an online shopping cart and entering my partial info, before closing the screen. As much as I wanted it, it was too impractical. We were a young couple with with grown up expenses. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't splurge.

I ended up settling on a wonderful stroller. The Maclaren Techno XT. I waited until the 2008 model came out, and I bargained like never before with seedy online dealers with all of the online dealers to get the most bang for my buck. I love the Maclaren because it's lightweight, easy to fold, fully reclines for Zayd to sleep, and has a chic look. I love my Maclaren, but a part of me still had the hots for the Bugaboo. I just wanted to be cool.

So, you can imagine my surprise, when my Aunt Veronica & Uncle Jay sent mean email notifying me that they were sending a package my way. I'm thinking baby clothes or toys, everyone has been so good to my little boy......

I think I'm going to just use pictures to explain just how big of a surprise this was....

A Skate! A 2008 Peg Perego Skate. Think Bugaboo but better!! More features, a better fold, and a bigger seat for the baby. It alos has this cool 360 degree strap that allows Zayd to move freely in the stroller. I can adjust it to three different heights and have Zayd either face me or face forwards. I can also make the stroller lie flat for nap time... I'm in love. This stroller so new and sleek that it has its own website..with a video on it!!!

Now, like really: http://en.pegperegoskate.com/

I know I'm lame not to have pictures with Zayd in his new stroller, but things have been kinda hectic right now. I promise I'll load some when we take it for a spin this weekend. We are so hitting up all the farmer's markets in the town.

I don't know what touched me the most, the thoughtfulness of the gift, or what my Aunt Veronica told me when I called to thank her and the family. As I listened to my adorable cousin Babette Jolie play beautiful music on her violin in the background, my eyes filled with tears as my aunt talked about her and my uncle researching strollers and wanting Zayd to "have the best." I couldn't help but think to myself -- he already does Aunt Veronica, he already does.

So yeah, when you see my little baby riding around in his little "rich boy" stroller, as my mom so lovingly named it, please know that his most valuable possessions are the wealth of people who love him. On that note, if you see his mother, please think young, trendy, hip....... hey, it was worth a shot.

Zayd (hearts) NY

2008-05-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Regina invited my whole family to New York for Memorial Day Weekend. She'd recently purchased a beautiful home in Yonkers, and true to her giving spirit, she wanted to open it up for our family. Khalid and I have been trying to get up to New York since we've been married. You think a place that is only four hours away would be more attainable to us, For some reason, every time we try to plan a weekend getaway, something comes up. We figured we'd try to get the most bang for our buck on this trip, since my mom and dad would be there... grandparents = free babysitting.

Auntie Nisa flew in a few days prior to our departure to spend some one on one time with Zayd. Zayd and Nisa have always had a very special connection. I really think he naturally thinks of her as his second mother or something. If she had milk, I sincerely think I could leave him for a week or so without him really noticing... I'm for real! it was wonderful to watch them play games together and reconnect. We all also benefited from my sister's superb cooking skills.

Our trip up to Yonkers was pretty uneventful. We left about two hours later than we planned, but we didn't run into any traffic, so no one complained. Zayd was on his best behavior -- way better than he was on the trip to and from the airport to pick up Auntie Nisa. Khalid was the driver, Nisa the DJ, and I the baby entertainer. Together we worked like a well oiled machine.

Aunt Regina's new home was simply beautiful - truly the best of both worlds. Her home has all the old charm of an older home, with new and updated everything within. What made it even more beautiful was that it was filled with her children and grandchildren. It felt so comforting to wake up and hear voices and footsteps of all the different family members in the morning. Zayd passed from arm to arm and Khalid and I enjoyed having a little extra freedom. That evening, we dined on gumbo, potato salad, and red velvet cake. I felt as if I was in Utopia.

The next morning, Khalid, Zayd, Nisa, Daddy, and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and spend the day in Central Park. Mom and Aunt Regina opted to do some major shopping instead. We had such a wonderful time showing Zayd the park. There are so many special moments in Zayd's life that i never want to forget, but introducing him to his first spring in Central Park has to be amongst the Top Ten.

After enjoying a leisurely stroll, we headed back to the house so that Khalid and I could get read to celebrate our third wedding anniversary. Although our anniversary is technically on the 28th, we've always celebrated it on Memorial Day Weekend, since that's when we got married. Strange, yes, but it works for us. Khalid got tickets to see Thurgood with Laurence Fishburn. As a Howard Law grad, the play was extra inspiring to me. We ended the night with a late-night meal at Juniors, before catching the subway out to Harlem to meet up with my mom. While we were at the play, Zayd went to a graduation party with my mom, Nisa, and Aunt Regina. Although he looked a little strange in his baseball pajamas and over coat, he seemed perfectly fine. He did seem very happy to see us when my mom handed him over to me. I can't imagine what was going through his little head at the party-- I bet it was a whole bunch of Where-the-hell-am-I and Who-are-these-people.

the next day Khalid and I decided to just explore the city as a family. Armed with Zayd's stroller, diaper bag, and a Lonely Planet New York book (Khalid, not me), we ventured off into the great beyond. We ended up spending the majority of the day walking around Harlem, before heading to the Upper East Side to observe a little night life. We both kept kicking ourself for not living in new York when we were "young" and "free". My mom swear we're having some type of late -20s early 30s crisis, and she might be on to something. As we rolled our lone stroller down street, we promised ourself that we'd try to do a little more in the fun department. Often times the monotony of life can have you feeling well beyond your years. Although we kinda kept accidently rolling over peoples' heels with Zayd's stroller, it felt damn good to be out past 11pm!! My dad called sounding a little concerned about our where abouts, so we decided to wrap it up and head home.

Here's Zayd on the subway at about 12:30 am.

The next day we enjoyed one last family gathering before dropping my parents off at the airport and heading back to DC. I am so grateful to Allah for cherished memories such as this trip. I pray that as a family, we can have many, many more.

Re-Post

2008-05-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

I was told the pictures weren't showing. I hope this works!!

Good morning Zayd. It's 7:37AM, and you are already down for your morning nap. You've already peed in our bed, slapped your father and I on the head several times, jumped back and forth between us, beat-boxed on our headboard, took bath, read a book, attempted to eat a book, screamed like a banchee when I dressed you, and ate four bites of rice and gravy. After finally being wide awake from my tired drunk stupor, you decide that now is as good a time as any to take a nap. You never cease to amaze me.

Of course by now I'm wide awake after performing the requisite jack moves to keep you happy. It dawned on me that this time last year, my life was so much different. Your were a part of me -- an apparent part of me actually-- but your father and I had no clue really what to expect. When you are excited yet scared out of your mind with the thought of impending parenthood, what do you do?

----
----
----

Go to Paris!!!! We could've used the money for a zillion other things, but in our collective psychosis, we decided to take one last international hooray. Yeah to rash decisions!!

Your father and I share a passion for traveling. If we weren't responsible people, we'd likely buy plane tickets to exotic places, like some folks buy flat screens and cars. We love trying different foods, navigating our way around foreign places, and getting a true feel for the area. I think the inability to travel on a whim was the one thing that we were most afraid of giving up with your impending birth. It's not like we were ever even able to travel on a whim before you came, but at least we had the option.

So, we kind of secretly and quietly purchased tickets during a fare sale on Iceland Air.... never heard of them either. We actually flew out of the town the same night of my last law school final. I was so tired, that I fell asleep on the plane before take off. You seemed to be very excited. It was the first time that your father really felt you kick. You were going crazy when we got up into the air.

We arrived in Paris the next morning and decided to have an "adventure" and take the metro to our hotel. Your pappa's bag broke at the airport, so we likely resembled a pair of rag-tag immigrants with broken luggage and a pregnant disheveled woman.

We'd stayed in some pretty sketch places during part of our time in North Africa, so I wanted to be sure that we had a nice plae to rest our head. After hours on end, during class, on Trip Advisor, I settled on a hotel about 20 minutes on the outskirts of the central areal called Hotel Portee Doree. Great choice.

I think this is one of my favorite picture of your daddy.

I remember how happy he was when your father bought me roses upon our arrival.

Did I mention how irritable I was when I was pregnant with you? Did I explain to you just how much my back hurt?? Okay, maybe a thousand times or so. All I really wanted to do was eat pastries and people watch. Your father, on the other hand, wanted to walk like a thousand miles exploring the city each day. That caused for a bit of conflict, but the great thing about Paris, is that there literally is a bakery on every corner. That inspired me much more than seeing the Mona Lisa.

Okay, I'll admit it, your mother is a wuss. I cried real tears when I saw the Eifel Tower for the first time. I'm scared to know how I'll react when I, insha'Allah, make it to Mecca and Medina. It was just such a dream-come-true. Your father sets the bar pretty high for doing nice things to make me happy. If I ever hear of you doing some raggedy stuff like trying to offer some women Quran on CD for their dowry, or anything else of that sort, I promise that I'll take your little but out. And if by chance I don't make it to that day, trust and believe (I love that phrase) that I got people... Okay, back to our trip..

I was so excited that I made your father take pictures before we even got really close to the tower.

Look at my hand, I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

That tower is soo freaking beautiful, Zayd.

The Gardens at Fountaine Bleu made me year for Jennah.

Your papa took me on a boat ride in the park. It took him a little while to get the rowing thing down, but he got it together.

Some things we had to just look at. We said we'd buy them on our next trip (lol).

The good thing is, there was so much to look at.

We want to share our passion with you, little boy. As soon as you can hold the camera for us, you can roll. Until then, you might have some really great trips to your grandparents' house while your father and I follow our wonder lust....

We have so many plans for you, my love.

Zayd & Daddy

2008-05-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

So much for raising him vegan....

2008-05-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

P.S. - We Love You

2008-04-30T05:47:00.001-07:00

Good morning Zayd. It's 7:37AM, and you are already down for your morning nap. You've already peed in our bed, slapped your father and I on the head several times, jumped back and forth between us, beat-boxed on our headboard, took bath, read a book, attempted to eat a book, screamed like a banchee when I dressed you, and ate four bites of rice and gravy. After finally being wide awake from my tired drunk stupor, you decide that now is as good a time as any to take a nap. You never cease to amaze me.

Of course by now I'm wide awake after performing the requisite jack moves to keep you happy. It dawned on me that this time last year, my life was so much different. Your were a part of me -- an apparent part of me actually-- but your father and I had no clue really what to expect. When you are excited yet scared out of your mind with the thought of impending parenthood, what do you do?

----
----
----

Go to Paris!!!! We could've used the money for a zillion other things, but in our collective psychosis, we decided to take one last international hooray. Yeah to rash decisions!!

Your father and I share a passion for traveling. If we weren't responsible people, we'd likely buy plane tickets to exotic places, like some folks buy flat screens and cars. We love trying different foods, navigating our way around foreign places, and getting a true feel for the area. I think the inability to travel on a whim was the one thing that we were most afraid of giving up with your impending birth. It's not like we were ever even able to travel on a whim before you came, but at least we had the option.

So, we kind of secretly and quietly purchased tickets during a fare sale on Iceland Air.... never heard of them either. We actually flew out of the town the same night of my last law school final. I was so tired, that I fell asleep on the plane before take off. You seemed to be very excited. It was the first time that your father really felt you kick. You were going crazy when we got up into the air.

We arrived in Paris the next morning and decided to have an "adventure" and take the metro to our hotel. Your pappa's bag broke at the airport, so we likely resembled a pair of rag-tag immigrants with broken luggage and a pregnant disheveled woman.

We'd stayed in some pretty sketch places during part of our time in North Africa, so I wanted to be sure that we had a nice plae to rest our head. After hours on end, during class, on Trip Advisor, I settled on a hotel about 20 minutes on the outskirts of the central areal called Hotel Portee Doree. Great choice.

I think this is one of my favorite picture of your daddy.

I remember how happy he was when your father bought me roses upon our arrival.

Did I mention how irritable I was when I was pregnant with you? Did I explain to you just how much my back hurt?? Okay, maybe a thousand times or so. All I really wanted to do was eat pastries and people watch. Your father, on the other hand, wanted to walk like a thousand miles exploring the city each day. That caused for a bit of conflict, but the great thing about Paris, is that there literally is a bakery on every corner. That inspired me much more than seeing the Mona Lisa.

Okay, I'll admit it, your mother is a wuss. I cried real tears when I saw the Eifel Tower for the first time. I'm scared to know how I'll react when I, insha'Allah, make it to Mecca and Medina. It was just such a dream-come-true. Your father sets the bar pretty high for doing nice things to make me happy. If I ever hear of you doing some raggedy stuff like trying to offer some women Quran on CD for their dowry, or anything else of that sort, I promise that I'll take your little but out. And if by chance I don't make it to that day, trust and believe (I love that phrase) that I got people... Okay, back to our trip..

I was so excited that I made your father take pictures before we even got really close to the tower.

Look at my hand, I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

That tower is soo freaking beautiful, Zayd.

The Gardens at Fountaine Bleu made me year for Jennah.

Your papa took me on a boat ride in the park. It took him a little while to get the rowing thing down, but he got it together.

Some things we had to just look at. We said we'd buy them on our next trip (lol).

The good thing is, there was so much to look at.

We want to share our passion with you, little boy. As soon as you can hold the camera for us, you can roll. Until then, you might have some really great trips to your grandparents' house while your father and I follow our wonder lust....

We have so many plans for you, my love.

2008-04-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."

Cherry Blossoms

2008-04-22T19:05:00.001-07:00

Look at our baby celebrating his first spring.

Say "Butt Butt"

2008-04-08T21:13:00.001-07:00

The Million Dollar Question

2008-04-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

We heard him whining, but what's new. He whines when he's bored or pissed off at one of us. This seems like most of the time. We respond, but kind of on our time. I was baking cookies, while Khalid attempted to keep up with the flurry of dishes I created while I was "creating." I met Zayd's whine with a few, "Okay, Mommy sees her big boy!" Khalid made a few of his trademark funny faces--we both kept to business as usual.

I looked over and noticed that he'd stopped jumping. As I headed to pick him up, I noticed that his head continued to bob downward. I signaled Khalid and we both watched in amazement as Zayd fought a losing fight with sleep. We stood there in utter disbelief. The silence was so loud! We contemplated moving him to his bed. We discussed whether the position was bad for his back. We tried to weigh the pros and cons of moving him, versus leaving him alone. In the end, we decided to leave him alone. Eventually he'd wake up we figured. In the meantime, we not read a bit, type a blog entry or two.

Zayd Hates the Gate

2008-03-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

And this is why I don't blog as often as I'd like. The child is dead set on falling down a flight of stairs. He has a whole room full of toys-- toys galore, but his favorite activity of all time is attempting to bust open the baby gate. My nerves are already bad and he's not even one yet!

Uncle Ismael Comes to Visit!!!

2008-03-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

Mommy Abuse!!!

2008-03-13T06:32:00.001-07:00

Crawling Machine

2008-03-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

2008-03-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

It all started with a loud thud. That's never really a good way to begin a story centered around a six month old. Anyway, it all started with Khalid hearing a loud thud. I was dead to the world after taking a relaxing bath. Zayd was spending his second night in his own room, in his own crib (joy). Khaid said that he heard a loud noise and immediately ran upstairs to check on Zayd. Somehow, we're still really not sure of the details, our child managed to flip his whole body out of the crib. Khalid said when he entered he nursery, Zayd was on the floor crying. Did I mention that I was on the same floor and managed to sleep through all of this??? The first thing I heard was Kalid saying, "Ohh no!". ... that's never really a good way to wake up.

So yes, Zayd believes he can fly. Aside from some scared crying, the child seemed to be fine. We kept him up for a while, checked his head, checked his body, looked at his pupils, and gave him a whole lot of hugs. Khalid immediately moved his mattress down to the lowest setting possible. His once adorable crib now looks like a wooden prison.

We had no clue that Zayd was capable of getting out of his crib. There are a thousand things that we knew that we need to move, but moving the crib mattress wasn't even high priority -- it hadn't even crossed my mind yet!! We're still a little baffled and confused on how he did it. We've both attempted to "reenact" the scene to better understand what happened. We really have no clue. All we know is that we truly have a little daredevil on our hands.

The Verdict is Still Out

2008-02-27T06:39:00.000-08:00

Six Months

2008-02-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

Happy six-month birthday little boy.
We spent the day napping and cuddling, before making dinner for Daddy.
I felt so content lying next to you while watching the snow fall.
I realized that there was no other place I'd rather be than beside you, smelling the sweetness of your skin.
What a good feeling.
I am your mommy and you are my baby.
Oh how Allah has blessed us.

Number Two!!!

2008-02-19T23:18:00.000-08:00

Sike!! I got you good, huh?

I'll be first to admit that I talk really loud and long about the strong possibility of Zayd being an only child. Even the thought of being pregnant again makes me want to curl up alone in a ball and rock myself gently into a better place. I equate pregnancy with pain, hotness (not like sexy hotness, but being hot hotness), more pain, irritability, pain again, and transforming into looking like a possible contestant on The Biggest Loser. Yeah, pregnancy is just not my thing.

I wanted to blog during my pregnancy, but I had nothing positive or nice to say about anyone or anything really. I can do a whole lot of other things really well, but I pretty much suck at pregnancy. Khalid swears that I was so good at being pregnant. The truth is, I know that he's lying, even if he honestly thinks he is telling the truth.... I remember. There were many times that I saw him reading his little man-pregnancy book all quietly and intently, and looking at me as if to say "Is that supposed to happen?". Yes, he too was the enemy. My favorite part about being pregnant was labor. I think that alone sums it up.

Although I am quick to rant and rave about being done with uterus expanding projects, when I see Zayd with another child, I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, a second child would be a lot of fun. I mean I can't even think of my life without my own siblings. Who would I fight with and create alliances with? Who would I have to talk about my parents with? What would I do when I went home? My siblings are an extension of me.

Khalid and I had the opportunity of pretending like we had two for a few hours the other week. Baby Girl came over so her parents could go on a hot date. Did I mention that they are expecting again... Zayd was so excited that he wouldn't even stay still enough for me to put his pants back on. I got so frustrated that I just left him alone. I'm going to show all of these pictures at his high school graduation party. You know what they say about payback.

Baby Girl had long since discovered that Zayd will happily and willfully be her little flunky. They played a pretty rousing game of I'm Going to Put Paper on Your Head Because I Feel Like It, and Ha Ha, You Can't Catch Me Because I Can Walk and You Can't. Zayd was so happy that I thought he might just hurt himself from sheer joy overload. He thought the paper game was just awesome! My baby cried, I mean literally wailed, when Baby Girl left.

Yeah, maybe there will be a number two, Allah knows best. In the meantime, we're just going to have to borrow Baby Girl a little more often.

Rock & Roll

2008-02-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

Zayd can scoot and crawl backwards, but not forward. The crawling thing is his latest acquisition. It started with him pushing up on all fours and rocking back and forth like he was in some southern music video. For the first few days, his antics would mainly end up wit him lunging forward and taking a nose dive onto his forehead. I was really concerned that the child might develop a rug burn on his face.

Zayd went from doing the hump-a-rock as I call it to pushing up on his legs into a modified down-faced dog position. I'd stare in awe as he repeated his two new tricks, over and over again -- hump-a-rock, down-faced dog, hump-a-rock, down faced dog, face fall forward, roll, repeat. This circuit is usually followed by some backward scooting into a corner, followed by desperate yells to be rescued from said corner. The rescue is always followed by an I -Desperately-Need-To-Reconnect nursing session, and then the whole process is repeated.

Five Month Photos

2008-02-06T06:30:00.001-08:00

Ohh you make me laugh with your little silly self.

Music Day

2008-02-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday was Music Day at Mocha Mom's Support Group. Zayd and I both woke up excited, wondering what musical adventures the day had in store for us. To be honest, we haven't made it to support group as often as I'd like, but we're trying harder. My child is a true social butterfly.... I wonder where he gets that from??

Zayd enjoyed seeing everyone, but one particualr person made him squeal with delight.

Tell me this doesn't make you laugh!!

We sang songs and listened to a really interesting book about some pond creatures. This motherhood thing is pretty fun.

Milestones - 5 Months

2008-01-31T12:40:00.001-08:00

Our little baby is 5 months old! Okay, he's actually 5.4 months old, or 23.4 weeks, to be exact. Where did the time go? At his last pediatrician appointment on January 15, 2008, Zayd weighed 17.4 pounds and was 26" long. Khalid and I estimated that he was about 16.5 pounds, so we were a little surprised. He has officially doubled his birth weight...plus some. He keeps me laughing every day with his antics.

Here are some of his new tricks:

-Grabbing for and grasping objects within reach.
-Rolling from front to back and back to front.
-Scooting backwards.
-Sitting up unassisted for short periods of time.
-Attempting to put every object in his mouth.
-Screaming "dth dtha dtha dtha" at the top of his lungs.
-Laughing -like real deep hard belly laughs.
-Developing preferences for different toys.
-Smiling and flirting with anyone within a 10 mile radius.
-Looking at his fingers in utter amazement.
-Whining (I love my child, but soooo annoying).

Khalid and I swear every weekend that we're going to purchase baby gates the next weekend. Since we both witnessed our child do this strange scoot-roll thing off of his baby gym, stopping maybe 3 feet later, we think that next weekend is really going to be the big day.

Zayd still loves riding around in his Ergo Baby carrier. He sucks on the straps and watches the world in blissful contentment. He still thinks the "little boy" in the mirror that he sees on a daily basis is fresh to death. He loves to scream and blow rasberries. The kid is wild!

Since I posted pictures of Zayd in his highchair, I've received a lot of inquires on whether he was eating solids yet. As much as he seems to want to, I've decided to postpone his introduction until he reaches six-months. I know that is the California hippie in me, but my local La Leche League leader has been very supportive of my decision. For now, he just uses the highchair as another play area. As of now, he is still a milk-milk baby.

We've noticed that Zayd has substantially decreased his daytime feeding. He's too busy exploring the world to focus long enough for long sessions. This has created an sharp increase in nighttime feedings. This has not been a good thing. Last night I felt like the boy was attached to my breast all night. Although I can sleep a little while he nurses, it's not th same as real sleep. I find myself yawning a lot in the morning.

Zayd is Feeling Better!!

2008-01-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

Alhamdullilah, Zayd seems to be feeling much better. He still has a hoarse voice, which makes him sound like a baby reptile, and some "snot issues," as we like to put it, but he seems to be back to his regular happy self.

I think we were both beginning to feel like caged animals. We'd been in the house since late Sunday nigh and the walls were starting to close in. The days and nights felt the same for me and nothing seemed to amuse Zayd anymore. Our life seemed like a continuous cycle of sickness.

When Tariq & Muslimah (aka The Newlywed Lovebirds) invited us over for a Sunday Obama Brunch, we were all more than happy to accept. There are few things more fun than going over to their place and watching them play with all their cool kitchen gadgets. I admit that I'm not really into politics, but I could happily pretend for a day out of the house.

Zayd decided to go kind of Neo-Soul, with his yellow Oaklandish tee shirt, his brown chill pants, and his favorite brown boots. Not everyone is a fan of his fuzzy brown Roobez boots, but since he's my kid and I like them, he likes them too.

The brunch was lovely - great people, thought-provoking political conversation, adorable kids, a spirit of change in the air. Uncle Ismael and Nicole even came by to join in on the fun. Did I mention the food? The Belgian waffles were so fluffy that that it tasted like eating a deliciously hot, brown, crispy, yet soft, cloud. We might invite ourselves over their place a little more often for more waffles.

Zayd is so vocal now. He seemed like he was on a mission to over-talk everyone in the room. I guess the kid has caught the Obama bug, because he just had a lot to say! I was also impressed on how much the child can move. He rolled and scooted all over the place. I predict that we're going to be running after him very soon. It was good to see him feeling better.

Sleepless Nights

2008-01-25T06:31:00.000-08:00

Poor little Zayd. He had another rocky night. He ended up just sleeping on my chest. I actually think he rolled off during the night, because when I woke up, he was sleeping beside me on the pillow.

I felt triumphant after the morning booger snot battle. I suctioned a considerable amount of goo out of his nose.He was so grateful that he immediately lay down and went to sleep. I think I'll do the same.

Zayd has a Cold

2008-01-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

My poor baby has his first official cold. We flew down to Texas to see the family for MLK weekend, so we think that he likely caught the bug on the plane ride. He's trying to be a trooper, but you can tell that his inability to breath out of his nose is really hard on him. The last two nights have been awful. He'll sleep for an hour or so, and then wake up all upset and congested. We're using the humidifier, saline drops, increased nursing, and that baby snot sucker thing, which he hates like a mortal enemy. Please make du'a that my little baby feels better soon.

Home Sweet Home

2008-01-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

Over time, Zayd and I both got back into the swing of things. We both really missed this person

Who came to stay with us for a few days and show off her belly

and teach Zayd how to properly play with his toys

We also watched this little person for two days, so her soon-to-be physician mommy could interview for her residency.

I thought maybe Zayd would be inspired to drink from a bottle again. His new thing is that he rejects all bottles and pacifiers... joy.

We had brunch with our favorite little lovebird newlyweds

I told Zayd that she's taken!

We got new toys

and learned to love some old ones

Best of all, more quality father & son time.

We're Back

2008-01-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, I officially dropped the blogging ball, but I'm going to just get back in the saddle and start up again where I left off. Zayd and I are back in Maryland with Daddy, and it feels really good to be a family again. Several people have asked me how Zayd reacted to his father after being away from him for over a month. I was snazzy enough to have my camera ready for their reunion.

Hey Pops!

Where ya been?

Look how big I am.

The first few days home were a little rocky. Zayd didn't like to be left alone for any preiod of time. By day three, he was back into the swing of things. A few days after I got back, I left him with Khalid all day for a much needed hair appointment. By the time I got back, they were, once again, the best of friends.

I had a little mini-breakdown returning to the house and really noticing for the first time just how fast my baby is growing. I went through his dressers and cleared out a good 80% of all the clothes that he'd grown out of. I'll have to admit that I got really tear eyed looking at all his little newborn onsesies and infant gowns. I will never forget that special time when he first came home.

Zayd came home and decided that he no longer had interest in a lot of the toys and gadgets that he once loved. The mobile, which previously made him hoot and holler like he was at a Michal Jackson concert or something, was no longer of interest to him. He also tried to boycott the swing, but Khalid and I nipped that in the bud. We brought out the activity tray attachment for him, and he seemed to develop a new appreciation for the soothing rocking of the baby papasan. ... we don't play that.

Khalid was amazed how sturdy and active Zayd became in such a short period of time. I warned him that the boy was now prone to trying to leap out of your arms if he saw something that he thought was interesting. I laughed really hard while Khalid tried to lasso Zayd into watching a football game, when Zayd had other plans. Khalid remarked, "He's a hand-full now!". Now maybe he realizes why I was sleep, or close to it, when he'd call late at night.

This was the first time ever that I flew into DC and didn't get that happy excited feeling I used to get when I came back into town. I mean I missed Khalid, don't get me wrong, but I really, really, really enjoyed being home with my family. I feel as if my heart is divided between two coast. I hated taking Zayd away from the plethora of people that love him, but I know that our life is here. I also miss having all of the extra hands to help us with raising this child. I just came home and immediately began to feel isolated. Okay, true, it might be a partially self imposed isolation, but I had a little bit of the I -miss-my-family funk.

How could you not miss all of this love?

Zayd Speaks

2007-12-28T16:20:00.001-08:00

Zayd's Lesson

2007-12-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

Eid Mubarak!

2007-12-21T21:11:00.001-08:00

I purposely chose Friday to place this post, so if this is your first day, second day, or third day of Eid, Eid Mubarak to you. Khalid attended Eid Salaat on Wednesday, Zayd and I prayed on Thursday, and many of our close friends began their celebration today. I love the fact that while some are celebrating, some are fasting, and while some accede to Saudi Arabia, others choose to follow a local sighting. In my humble opinion, it shows that Muslims are not drones,or blind followers. Believers are making their decisions out of conviction, and a strong desire to obey Allah in the way that they see best. What is so beautiful to me is that Allah, in His infinite wisdom, made it that we all overlap, no matter what date you began your celebration.

So, Eid Mubarak to all.

Zayd's Eid Gifts

Leaving the prayer

Zayd and Nasir (Note: Zayd's head is smaller in real life.)

The adorable siblings, Taki & Hasnah.

Zayd & Mommy's former student, Tahirah.

Sister Michelle, Sister Princess, , little Anisa, and Mommy & Zayd.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

2007-12-17T22:59:00.000-08:00

This week it's all about the exersaucer. The bebe chair was so last week. This week it's all about standing up and trying to grab things. Thanks a million to little Parker, who is nice enough to loan Zayd all of his baby gear for the duration of our stay.

Conference Call

2007-12-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

Zayd talks to Khalid every night. It's strictly Khalid and Zayd time. It's obvious that he knows his father's voice, because he becomes very still and quiet when he hears him on the phone. I can't wait to see the look upon both of their faces when they are reunited.

Fajr Baby

2007-12-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

Zayd really likes to hang out with the family after fajr.

As you can see, I'm not as thrilled.

(I tried to get artistic and blur everything but us and the prayer rugs... I'm going to take some Mac classes...for real.)

Four Months

2007-12-12T07:20:00.001-08:00

Zayd is four months old! Can someone please tell me why my baby is growing so fast. I feel like he was only a little tiny baby for a week or so...maybe that's why people have more children. I finally broke down and bought him one of those way over-priced bebe pod chairs. I got tired of watching him grunt in frustration from trying to sit up. As soon as I put him in the chair, he looked at me as if to say, "It took you long enough!". He spends a lot of time in his "little throne" as my dad calls it.

California has been really good to us. Zayd enjoys taking walks in his jogging stroller and hanging out with all his baby friends. We're looking forward to seeing more family and friends for Eid.

It's Electric

2007-12-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

Zayd got to meet more of his California family at Cousin Chris and his wife BJ's 25th wedding anniversary. Zayd has been officially indoctrinated in to black culture by performing the Electric Slide and the Cha Cha slide with his family.

** Special thanks to Auntie Mariam for the adorable outfit.... Go HUSL!**

Zayd and his great-grandfather Joseph Simon.

Zayd, G-Dad, Grandmommy, and Aunt Veronica.

Zayd, Cousin Babette, and Mommy getting their groove on.

Zayd and Daddy.

Zayd and Babette.

Zayd, Great Grandfather, Uncle Tim, and Aunt Kim.

104 Days

2007-12-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

Here is my pride & joy.

Zayd is 104 days old. That makes him 14 weeks, or 4 months old. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to share each and every day of his life with him. He is changing and growing before my eyes. Yesterday he chuckled for the first time. He is currently working with all his might to be able to sit up on his own. He is also very, very vocal. He seems to be his #1 fan or the sound of his voice...I guess that makes me and Khalid tied for the #2 spot.

Zayd loves when people talk to him, sing to him, and make gestures to amuse him. He also likes to put his lips together and blow spit all over everything. He'll be your best friend of you help him to stand up on your legs and play walk.

I've finally gotten into to habit of taking Zayd on a daily walk. He loves looking around as we stroll through the neighborhood. Most times the movement puts him to sleep. The fresh air is good for both of us.

I think this is the first time in a long time that I can honestly say that I love what I'm doing. True, the hours are pretty long and the monetary pay is non-existent, but there are so many other pay offs. I just want to show him the world. I want him to see, feel, and taste all things that are good and beautiful. I pray every day that he can experience the goodness of this world and the hereafter.